Finding My Way Back
by emma.eaton
Summary: Divergent No War-Tris and Tobias have gotten their Happily Ever After but what happens when that all changes and Tris forget everything. Will her and Tobias' relationship never be the same or will she find that love again. Basic premise inspired by The Vow
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I look down the rails when I hear the blaring of the train coming down the tracks. I am immediately snapped out the daydream I was in and begin to run, and then pull myself into the car of the vehicle.

I was just at a meeting at Amity to discuss the delivery of the food to compound, just one of my many duties as an Ambassador to the Factions at Dauntless. Normally whenever you leave the compound you have to go with someone else for safety purposes so Tobias was suppose to come with me but he thought since it was just to Amity there was no risk involved. Part of me wishes he had tagged along but I like the independence.

I have been a full member for about two years now and my life, and lives of the ones I love, have changed drastically. Christina (who works as a tattoo artist) and Will (working in the control room) have a 3 month old daughter named Zoe, Zeke (control room) and Shauna (compound guard) got married last year, Uriah (leader) and Marlene (nurse) are engaged. Everyone is taking big steps in their relationships and lives, well everyone but Tobias and me. About six months after my initiation Eric was found at the bottom of the Chasm, he either jumped or was pushed no one knows, so his position for leader was open and somehow Max convinced Tobias to take the position (I still don't know how he did it). An amazing apartment comes as a perk of the job so he asked me to move in with him. Past that our relationship hasn't taken many steps forward. (Oh and just incase you were curious I got over my seventh fear the night I moved in with him.)

I really don't know where our relationship is going to go from here and that bothers me a lot. We have never discussed marriage or kids so I have no idea what he sees for the future. I know I want to marry him eventually, but kids for me are still a big question mark.

I guess I could see my life going both ways. I like how things are right now. I have all the family I need. I have Tobias and he makes me complete. But I also see how happy Christina and Will are with Zoe. Will was so nervous and apprehensive about the whole thing but when she finally came he was on top of the world and couldn't be happier with his little girl. That life sounds like one I could to enjoy as well.

I know I should have this conversation with Tobias soon, I mean we should have had it a while ago but before I do that I have to know what I want. I can't go into this kind of conversation on the fence because if I do, his opinion will swing me the way he wants and in ten years what he wants might not be what I want. If I regret the decision we make in the future, I want it to be because that is what I choose not because I just went along with what Tobias said. If I do, then I will just end up resenting him and I can't- I wont let that happen to us.

As I am in deep contemplation I hardly notice the familiar bump then curve of the train signaling that the roof of the dauntless compound is near. Still in my little bubble of thought I look out the window and realize the roof to jump on is passing by me.

I immediately snap out of it and spring up realizing I am about to miss my stop. Before really thinking, I launch myself of the train right before the roof is going to end and I feel my feet catch on the wall of the compound. The sudden stop of my feet causes my upper body slam down to the gravel and my head hits the ground on the roof, with a crack.

Everything is spinning and I think I am seeing double. My breath catches as the adrenaline in my veils subsides and I realize the pain I am in. When I try and lift myself up with my arms they don't move. I try and wiggle my toes and they don't either. Come to think of it I don't think I can feel them. I try to cry out for help but it feels like I can't breath in or out, like I'm frozen. All I can think is, _I am going to die, I am going to die._

Before another thought can come into my brain dark spots form in my vision and within seconds everything goes black.

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**PLEASE READ:**

**So I just wanted to make sure you guys understood what happen to Tris because I am worried to some it might not be clear. I tried to be as clear as possible but I'll try my best again in a way that I could in the story, so you know my you trip over a tree root or something and you foot gets caught, because of inertia you upper body wants to keep moving but you foot drags it down with you. Like when you are in a car and your hit from behind. The seatbelt keeps you from flying forward because your body wants to keep moving because the car stops so suddenly.**

**So when Tris jumped her lower body stopped moving causing her upper body to go land on the roof but slam down to the gravel.**

**Okay hope that answered any questions you might have. If you still confused leave a comment so I can try and explain farther.**

**Thanks for reading you guys! This is my second fan fiction on Divergent and I kind of abandoned the other but I want to continue it, I just don't know if you guys want me to. A Dauntless Life hasn't received much of a following and I just don't think it is going anywhere. I feel like I should have planned ahead because I have kind of written myself into a hole I am struggling to get myself out of. Let me know and if you haven't read it or check it out if not and tell me what you think… I feel like I should also mention that was my second fanfic so I am still learning**

**-Emma**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tobias POV

When the cafeteria door open I shoot up from my seat, at the table all my friends are gathered around. I was hoping to see Tris walk threw those doors but it is just some random guy.

She was supposed to be back from Amity 20 minutes ago and I am starting to get worried about her.

Uriah gives me a look and says, "Dude you need to calm down, Tris is fine she probably just missed the train and will be on the next one."

"Ya there is no need to freak out, just sit down and eat your meal," Christina adds.

"If Tris missed the train then I'll be up there waiting for her on the roof. If you guys see her tell her where I am," and with that I get up and walk out. I am nearly sprinting through The Pit to make it to the stairway that leads to the roof next to the Net where Tris literally fell into my life.

Before I open the door I take a second to catch my breath because I am a little winded from climbing the 7 floors to get up here.

When I swing the door open I feel like my whole body is going to grumble to the ground, as if someone kick my in the stomach and knocked all the wind right out of me.

There Tris is laying on the ground. Her feet are twisted, her arms look destroyed, and there are cuts and bruises lining her entire body from the gravel. But worst of all is her head. Over half of it is a dark shade of deep purple, blue. There is blood everywhere and she isn't moving.

_She isn't moving! TOBIAS SNAP OUT OF IT SHE ISN'T MOVNG!_

I run to her trying to be as gentle as I can when I pick her up. I turn her over so she is on her back but I immediately regret that decision because the gravel has torn up her clothes and cut into her skin, the sight is sickening. I pay extra attention to her head as I lift her up. I run down the stairs and try not to bounce her too much not wanting to cause anymore damage but still getting her to the infirmary as quickly as possible. When I burst through the doors of the staircase I make it to The Pit, which is now full of people coming from dinner. But when everyone sees us they clear a path toward the infirmary on the other side.

Someone in The Pit must have gone in the infirmary and told them to be ready because when I burst through the doors a team of doctors and nurses is waiting with a stretcher.

_I can't believe this is happening my Tris can't die, she just can't! I can't carry on without her, she means everything to me and she'll never know that. It took me so long to work up the nerve to even buy the ring because I know she is too good for me and now she is never going to see it she is never going to know what-_

"FOUR! FOUR LISTEN TO ME! Put her down! You're still holding her you have to put her down, we can't help her when she's in your arms." I look down and see doctors on both sides of my, pulling at my arms break my rock solid grasp on Tris. I didn't put her down and I know I should, but I can't she's safe in my arms. If I let her go she'll die!

"FOUR! NOW!" Marlene screams.

And with that I gently place her on the stretcher. The second my hands leave her doctors and nurses push me back and they move into some other room for god knows what purpose.

Before I realize it, I have collapsed to my knees and silent tears fall down my face. I close my eyes to try and prevent them from reaching my cheeks, but its no use. If I hadn't insisted she go on her own so I could buy that stupid ring none of this would have happened. I am such a coward. I should have bought it a long time ago but it took me so long to work up the nerve. If I had been the brave man I should be, Tris and I could have be engaged a long time ago and I would have gone with her to Amity and saved her sooner, or even prevent this from happening.

I feel a hand clamp on my shoulder for comfort but I don't look up to see who it is and thankfully whoever they are doesn't feel the need to make their identity known. They just preform this small act of comfort and it is appreciated, but in reality nothing can comfort me more than seeing Tris.

What I would give to see her smile or laugh or scream or cry, ANYTHING. I would give my life for just one more day with her because a world without Tris is a world not worth living in. She makes pain and suffering bearable for me. She makes everyday brighter and when she is not there, I feel like there is no point in getting up in the morning because I know I wont have her there to make me smile or laugh or scream or cry. Even in or worst fights I still love her because I know eventually it will be over. After a fight she does this cute thing where she'll pretend to still be mad but then I say something to her and she'll smirk, that cute little smirk of hers and then she'll run into my arms and wrap her legs around my waist and I'll spin her around and it will all be okay.

But this isn't a problem that pure love for one another can solve.

After what seems like an eternity, "Four, would you like to come and see her. We have to talk." I hear Marlene say. At first it doesn't really register but I still look up and nod. When I stand up I turn around and see the hand on my shoulder was Zeke and behind him all our friends are standing there silently looking on.

Uriah adds, "Go on buddy, we'll all be right here if you need us, okay?" I nod once again and turn my attention back to Marlene, who is a nurse here in the infirmary.

She leads me into one of the patient rooms and opens the door. Once again I feel like I am going to crash to my knees. Tris or who I presume to be Tris is, in almost head to toes gauze. Both feet are in casts, as well as both arms, nearly her whole body is wrapped up from the cuts she received from the fall, but worst off is her head. The whole upper right hand side is wrapped up and the part that is exposed is a deep shade of blue purple green.

I hear Marlene say, "I know this must be shocking for you, so let me explain her condition. From what I gathered this happened by almost missing the roof when she jumped of the train to the Dauntless compound. When she jumped her feet hit the wall causing her ankles to twist and break. Luckily she was moving fast enough for her upper body to fly onto the roof but it slammed down to the ground. Instinctively she put her hands down to break the fall, but this shattered her wrists and the impact was so much on her right arm the shock moved up to about half way up her forearm causing it to break. Her head got the worst of the impact and that is really what I need to talk to you about. Four she got a bad skull fracture and there was quiet a bit of bleeding in her brain. The doctors from Erudite did the best they could to fix it in surgery but we don't know how long she was like that so the extent of the damage is unknown. Currently she is in a coma and we don't know the effect it had on her mentally until she wakes up."

"How long will she be under?"

"It could be a few hours, it could be weeks, or she might never wake up. And if she does she will probably suffer some sort of effect, like a speech impediment, increased aggression, changes in vision, tremors or seizure, memory loss, the list goes on and on. Most likely she is going to have to deal with the side effects for the rest of her life. If she wakes up you have to be there to support her and help get her though it."

"Of course. She'll always have me there for her."

"Do you want me to bring in a cot so you can sleep in here with me?"

I nod, "Thanks Mar."

"No problem and if you need me or something happens, press the call button right there okay?"

"Got it."

"Would you like me to send the others in?"

"Ya sure I know they want to see her."

With that Marlene turns and walks out. I go over so I am standing next to her bed. I want to hold her, to touch her in anyway but I'm terrified if I do, Ill hurt her. All I do is pull up one of the chairs sitting in the room and bring it next to her bed. I whisper, "I'm so sorry Tris, I should have been there for you I'm so sorry. None of this would have happened to you. Its all my fault."

"Four none of this is your fault." I look up and see all our friends standing at the doorway.

"Yes Zeke it is my fault. I was supposed to be on that train with her, but I told her to go alone. If I hadn't been such a coward none of this would have happen!" By the end of my sentence I am full on screaming. I can't handle the guilt of doing this to her. It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest and I can't move. Its as if my whole body is shutting down and I begin to shake. My heart feels like it is going to explode out of my chest and I can feel my pulse shacking my body reaching everything from my head to my toes. All the sudden I can't breath and the room feels like its spinning. Before I know it dark spots appear before my vision and everything fades into black.

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Hi guys so let me know what you think so far by reviewing and commenting

I also thought I would try out doing contests for **shout outs** so put the answer to the question below in the **comments section**. If a lot of you get it right I'll pick three of you at random to make it fair

I'll start off with something easy one:

**What faction was Eric born into?**

Side note: let me know if you want me to incorporate him or Peter or both into the story that might be interesting

-Emma


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tobias POV

When my eyes flutter open a bright white light blinds me. When they adjust I look around at my surroundings and realize I am in the infirmary, hooked up to a heart monitor. _What is happening? I was just in the hospital for Tris now here _I_ am! Please tell me this day has just been some sick coma dream. Anything but the awful reality._

I can hear my heart rate quickly increase on the monitor, as this is all going on in my head. I have to get someone to tell me what's going on so I turn to hit the Call button Marlene was telling me about but before I can, there she is bursting through the door with a worried look on her face. _Oh god Tris._

"Four, you need to bring your heart rate down. Take some deep breaths and slowly explain to me why you are freaking out."

_Why is she acting like my heart rate is a big deal. My heart always beats fast. That's why in my initiation I took a while in stage two to get through my fears. I got ranked first because I did so well in stage one and only have four fear, not because I was any good at over coming them or slowing my heart rate down._

"What Marlene? Does my heart have something to do with why I am in here? I mean what happened?"

"Well when you were visiting Tris you started to freak out and it escaladed very quickly. You had a sever panic attack that lead to your heart pumping so fast your brain knew it had to shut you down so you passed out. Don't worry you have only been out about an hour, but it appears you may have some sort of panic disorder or anxiety issue. We still have to run some tests, but you should be fine. We want to keep you here over night just to be safe. But Four listen to me if this happens again come find me, it is alarming how fast it all happen, it's not normal so you have to keep an eye on it. You can't let yourself panic that much again."

Well I guess that answers my question, "whatever Marlene I need to go see Tris. I have to be with her. She still in the coma?"

"Ya her condition hasn't changed. Christina is in there with Will and Zoe. All you need to be hooked up to is the heart monitor so we know if your heart rate gets above a safe speed. You crossed that threshold, that's why I came in here, to calm you down. I brought the cot into her room so its there waiting for you. Let me help you up."

Marlene helps me drag that thing all the way to Tris' room and when I open the door I hear Christina and Will having a conversation. When I walk in I hear Will say, "Tris, Four just walked in the room, he is going to sleep in the cot next to you so you'll never be alone okay. Someone will always be with you."

My first instinct is that she must be awake! There these two are talking to her! But when I walk over to the bed I see Tris, looking the same as she did before out like a light. Furious I turn to Will, "Why were you talking to her?! She is still in a coma, are you guys crazy or something?!" I don't now why this upsets me so much but it's like for the first time since the incident I really believed everything would be okay. I really thought I would have her back.

Will puts on a defensive look and bouncing a now crying Zoe on his hip, "Four, we were talking to her because in many cases of people in comas, they report being aware of their surrounding. Being able to hear, feel, and smell things around them. They can't move and in all other ways appear to be asleep but they are awake in there."

"Wait you mean she can hear us!"

"Maybe, maybe not. Erudite research suggests it actually helps people wake up so we are going to try it, whether or not she can hear us or not. It can't hurt."

All I do is nod because once again any sign of hope I had has been muffled down to a whisper.

"We are going to go, give you a some time with her alone, plus its time for Zoe to go to sleep. Well come check on you guys tomorrow."

I look down to the floor, not responding. Everyone leaves the room leaving me alone with Tris for the first time. She looks so small and beaten. Looking at her like this though reminds me how strong she is, though. She has been through so much yet she manages to be the amazing person I love so much. She is strong enough to get through this.

"Tris, my love, I will stay by your side for as long as you are alive and if you pass on I don't think I will be that far behind you. You are my everything, so you need to fight okay? You need to be the strong person I know you are and come back to me so we can have the life we were meant to have together. We are supposed to spend our entire lives together and if we have fewer year than I anticipated I think I'm fine with that. I wish we could have gotten years but we have had enough happiness and love to fill up lifetime. I love you. Please try and find me again."

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Winners of last chapters question What faction did Eric transfer from:

**Minpin20**

**4-feargodalone-6**

Thank you so much for your answers!

Please leave r**eview and comments** down below they are appreciated and also **when I get reviews** I start **writing the next chapter** so if you want content soon that is the way to do that review and answer that chapter's questions!

This chapter's question: **What kind of serum are the Amity know to put in their bread?**


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